- Carrie Caringella,
Senior elementary education student
Height: 5 feet 7 inches tall. Hair color: Blonde. Age: 21-year-old woman. As I sit at my laptop, the curser flashing rapidly and taunting me to type my next answer, I look around to make sure no one is watching me. Pick a username. Describe yourself. What are you looking for in a man? I have no idea; shouldn’t the 21-year-old part have tipped that off?
Although some stigmas still exist, online dating is a social phenomenon that is growing in popularity in our busy, technology obsessed society. With hectic work schedules and laundry lists of past failed relationships, the Internet provides singles the opportunity to seek a mate on their own schedule and be as selective as they wish.
In fact, 30 percent of Internet users report using the web to find that special someone, according to an article in the New York Daily News. Specifically within the U.S., the same poll showed that 21 percent of Americans are trading in single nights at the local bar for a computer screen to find a partner.
The whole set up of online dating puzzles me- I only get one small profile page to make myself look like someone you would like to go on a date with. I enter in the “basic” information: body type, profession, do I want to have children? I haven’t even graduated college yet and already someone is stamping a question mark on my uterus. I check “yes”, rationalizing that I would rather attract someone interested in the option than delve into a child-free zone.
Then I reach the glaring blank text box that reads “mandatory description” in red. I take the site’s suggestions and write in some of my hobbies, goals and aspirations, what I feel makes me unique and what music I like to listen to- because clearly those four make for a perfect recipe to spike the interest of my future soul mate.
After I complete my profile, I sit back to marvel at my masterpiece, a crash course in all that is Bree, or rather BrownEyedGirl42- the “clever” username I decided upon. I laugh at the screen as I hit the finished button; all my hard work of putting my best face forward is out there now for whomever to see. However, there is a little part of me that wonders- what if this works?
I wake up the next morning, the festivities of the night before just a distant memory. During my break between classes, my roommate tells me to check the dating site. Oh right, that little monster I created last night in the late hours following my college homecoming weekend.
I log on and to my surprise I have 15 inbox messages of male hopefuls wanting to get to know me better. I can’t decide if I am more flattered or freaked out that these guys found my profile and wrote me between the hours of 1 and 8:30 a.m.
First message, click! Up pops bachelor number one. A 29-year-old from Effingham whose interests include hunting, 4-wheeling and “mudden”. I’m not quite sure what all “mudden” entails, but I do know that my cowboy boots from Macy’s are about as country as I go. Next.
Bachelor number two looks a little more promising. A graduate student at Northwestern who loves playing sports and going on road trips. Smart, adventurous and athletic? Check. Check. Check. Then I open up his profile to view his page and see what Casanova looks like. No spark, dang. And I was so close to happily-ever-after.
The messages go on to range from some guys who seem really sweet but just not my type, to others who are 35-years-old and want to whisk me away and be my sugar daddy. No thank you.
I close my laptop, all my notions of online dating as a site for the desperate or disturbed reaffirmed. I wonder, what are all these people on the eHarmony commercials raving about? I begin to ask around and see if there any other college students logging online for love.
And then I meet Carrie Caringella, a senior elementary education student who decided to give the Internet a shot after a little encouragement from her two roommates- although she too had some hesitations.
“At first I considered it a joke, but after I started getting messages I realized that this might have potential. I really haven't had a serious relationship in about four years so I didn't think online dating could hurt,” Caringella said. “I got a lot of messages from people around my hometown so I thought some of them could be legit. I feel safe with it because if you find someone creepy or that keeps messaging you, you can block them immediately.”
But has the web’s matchmaking yielded any success for Caringella, like I had been crossing my fingers for when I hit the “submit profile” button?
“I have actually been talking to a guy for a little over a month. His interests are similar to mine and we are both pursuing a teaching career. We have a lot of things in common and actually have mutual friends, which is kind of weird,” Caringella said.
With Carrie’s story in mind I decide to revisit the dating inbox, after all, every website deserves a second chance. I sort through the messages, feeling a little guilty about the judgments I am making about these total strangers, until I come to a diamond in the rough; a 25-year-old architect who lives in Bloomington, and, to top it off, 6 feet 3 inches tall with a great smile. Ah, I knew prince charming existed- and to think we share the same kingdom zip code.
The next couple days are spent exchanging witty messages back and forth, attempting to delve deeper into who we each are. Within a week the relationship progresses to Facebook (ah, so serious so soon). Apparently in the cyber spectrum of dating one day is equal to a couple weeks in the real dating world, because as Wednesday night approaches I see the question, “So would you like to actually meet and go on a date?” flash on my computer screen.
Before I respond, a few scenarios bombard my mind. What if he shows up and looks nothing like his picture? What if he is a serial killer? Or worse, what if he wears navy and black together? I cross my fingers and reply, “Yeah, let’s try it.”
So Thursday night/date night comes. The clock strikes 7:00 and the doorbell rings. I take a deep breath, here goes nothing. We go to dinner at Destihl, a restaurant I have never been to in the three years I have lived in Bloomington-Normal. Great atmosphere, delicious food and the conversation isn’t all too awkward. Then Romeo brings up the fact that he recently broke up with his ex-fiancée who cheated on him- what a light, delightful topic to discuss on a first date. Needless to say, I was a little put off past that point.
Dinner ends and he drives me back to my apartment, an uncomfortable silence fills the car, suffocating me for the brief 10 minute ride. I thank him for the night and walk into my haven, closing the front door behind me. Click! I turn the deadbolt lock- glad that is over.
I wake up the next morning and share my Thursday night escapade with my roommates. While online dating appears to work for some people, I feel like I might give it a rest for awhile. I’m still young and have plenty of time to explore the single scene. I’ll keep it for a back-up though, just in case I am still single when I blow out 30 candles on my birthday cake, or at least until I can answer the dating site’s daunting question of what I am looking for in a man. Until then I guess Prince Charming will just have to keep his horse in its cyber stable.